Jelly wiggles. And jiggles. It shakes it all about. Hangs loose and gets jiggy with it.
Jelly’s gloppy and sticky. Dark magenta and seedy. Pinkish-red and sweet. Shiny purple. Tangerine orange. Lime green like Jell-O. Colors of the rainbow oozing from glass jars and plastic tubes. Dripping from crusted bread.
I don’t like jelly very much. I’d rather have jam. Or preserves. It sounds so fancy, more natural – preserves. You can say it with a high and might tone – preserves.
Jelly sounds so plain and ordinary. Artificial. Common. It’s too sweet, too “vanilla.” Vanilla jelly…does such a flavor exist? There’s lavender jelly…and mint jelly…but vanilla jelly? I don’t know. Sounds a bit suspicious, if you ask me…
Jelly is translucent and bare. Simple. Almost pure in the purest artificial way. I don’t like jelly on my bread of with my peanut butter, but I like watching the jelly move and dance across a plate. Drip from crust and PLOP! onto my bowl. But not into my lap. I do not like washing the stickiness from my jeans. I do not like the stickiness clinging to the creases of my fingers. On second thought, I’d rather see jelly contained in pretty glass jars lined on country kitchens’ shelves. Shiny gold lids covered with plaid bonnets, securely tied by red and blue ribbons. Mae’s Homemade Jelly. Mae’s an Aunt, or she should be, if she really exists and makes homemade jelly. She could call it Aunt Mae’s Homemade Jelly and give it to neighbors for Christmas. Sell it at the local farmers’ market on Sundays. Stand over boiling pots of watered down fruit, stirring in sugars while beads of salty sweat trickle slowly down her shiny head. All for the love of watching jelly coagulate and thicken, to dip a fat finger into the pot and scoop a clump of jelly on the tip. A sample of the jelly to make sure it’s just right.
Poor jelly now trapped in your jar. How you would like to shake about and jiggle and wiggle yourself free! If only you weren’t such a sticky, gloppy mess, I might be content with letting you loose on a jelly roll spree.
– Written by Miss A on August 31, 2011