If I could program a remote control to do anything I wanted, I’d make sure it had these features:
1. A mute” button to silence screaming babies, barking dogs, and loud neighbors.
2. A “pause” button for those perfect moments in a day when billowing white clouds drift over clear, blue skies or a fiery red sun spreads orange, pink, and purple hues across the horizon as it sets behind the ocean.
3. A “fast-forward” button for rush-hour traffic to speed along the mass of cars so I can get home in 15 minutes, instead of an hour. I like to think of this as an altruistic button, since everyone else will be able to get home faster, too.
4. A “skip-forward” button for those days when I want to get throughout my work day in a quarter of the time (will come in handy for Fridays!).
5. A “rewind” button for those moments when I put my foot in my mouth and want to take back the remarks which I didn’t mean to say out loud (some things really are best to stay in your head).
6. A “stop” button that can detect when a person is lying and prevents them from talking until he/she corrects the lies and tells the truth. I’d attend a lot of political debate to use this feature and force politicians to speak truthfully about the issues and how they plan to fix them. It would be a real “game changer.”
7. An “enter” button that allows me to teleport myself anywhere in the world without having to go through airport security or sit in cramped airplane seats for umpteenth hours. (I’d program the channels on the remote to be different locations I want to visit).
I’m still contemplating how I’d program the numbers, but I probably have some time to figure them out, since I imagine it will take a lifetime to create this magical remote control. In a movie, the remote would be struck by lightning or get “accidentally” left in the microwave which someone then “accidentally” turned on without looking inside to see what he/she is re-heating. Turns out that doesn’t work so well in real life, so I’ll have to come up with a different plan. Maybe the Apple team has some answers…
– Written by Miss A on June 11, 2012